Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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