So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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