Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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