I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
