Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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