I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Randomize
