so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
