now i know why i became what i already was.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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