If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
