Sponge bath it is.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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