How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
