so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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