That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
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