Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize