the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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