if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
