We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
