Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
