And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Randomize
