Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
