you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
