so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
