Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
