I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
