You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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