But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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