I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize