before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
