dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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