Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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