Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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