I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
