After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
