I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
