What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
