This dress was meant to end up on your floor
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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