I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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