Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
