ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Duck Duck Cougar?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Help. Why am I so naked?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
