how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
