so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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