Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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