we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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