So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
worst night to have a conscience
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize