My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
