woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize