Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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