I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize