i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
