you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
