I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
