i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize