I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
