Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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