I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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