that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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