Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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