Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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