no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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